Humuhumunukanukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapoopoo!

Wailua from Kona Brewing Company

Aloha Series:  Wheat Ale with Passion Fruit

From the largest island in the US (Hawaii) to the 12th largest (Revillagigedo) via the the 20th largest island (O'ahu).  A lot of island hopping for this wheat ale!

Bitterness: 15 IBU (10 times more hoppy then Miller Lite)

Alcohol by Volume: 5.4%

Color:  Golden Sun

RATING: I'd let someone buy it for me.



Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah

"Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting
Those kicks were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing"

KUNG FU GIRL

Riesling by Charles Smith Wines

"There was funky China men from funky Chinatown
They were trapping them up
They were trapping them down
It's an ancient Chinese art
And everybody knew their part
From a fainting, to a slip
And a kickin' from the hip
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Those kids were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning
But they fought with expert timing"

After chugging (or Chun King) a bottle of Kung Fu Girl, your expert timing might be a little off. The next thing you know  a roundhouse kick coming at you from Little Sammy Chong.

Kung Fu Girl is a riesling from Charles Smith Wines. Vinted and bottled in Mattawa, Washingon (which is in the Columbia Valley).  Riesling grapes are used to make dry, semi-sweet and sparkling wines.  Our little Kung Fu gal is a semi-sweet riesling.  Not too sweet with a little bitterness... like that Asian Stan dated.  (Kung Fu Girl will not set you back as far as the one Stan dated... around $14.99)

ABV: 12.5%
COLOR:  Clear
ODOR: Fermented Grape

"There was funky Billie Jim and little Sammy Chong
He said, here comes the big boss, let's get it on
We took the bow and made a stand
Started swaying with the hand
A sudden motion made me skip
Now we're into a brand new trip"

Carl Douglas would like this wine and so should you.

RATING:  3.76

 

RED STAG

NOW THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE!

YES!  After two months of no posts, we are back... and we are back with ANOTHER review of a Jim Beam product.  It is like we are co-dependent.  The last beating was not enough so we are back for more. It is like we are having a dysfunctional relationship with ourselves.  As soon as we break it off with Jim, we are with Jack, Johnnie, Glen or Old Grandad but somewhere, deep down, we are still thinkingof Jim even though he leaves a bitter taster in our mouth.

Red Stag (by Jim Beam) is a 4 year old bourbon infused with "natural" flavors.  The "natural" flavor is prunus serotina (aka Black Cherry).  Black cherries are found predominantly in the eastern United States and central Mexico.  Yet you don't hear of mexicans sticking black cherries in their tequila. 

A 1 oz shot has 69 calories and no nutritional value.  Take a moment quietly chuckle to yourself.

ABV: 80 Proof

Odor:  Slight cough syrup odor.

Taste:  After a straight shot of 69 calories, we are feelling a bit burly and are obliged to try more.  Very sweet, like syrup.  We do not recommend for straight sipping or taking shots.  Next we will try it mixed with COCA COLA.  Still sweet and tastes like cherry coke cough medicine.  You know, if cough medicine tasted like this... it would be awesome.  Unfortunately it is not cough syrup and that sucks for Jim Beam. 

RATING: 1.8

Our relationship has ended... again.

FREE BEER!

Summer has been busy for the tasters and we are behind in our blogs.  Does not mean we haven't been tasting!  Just not typing.  We were hoping by this time we would be reviewing TACTICAL NUCLEAR PENGUIN but, instead, we are reviewing a bottle of home brew made by someone we don't know.

SPRUCE TIP HOMEBREW by NEIL

Xtratuf not included.

A nice aroma of spruce.  Amber in color.  Very light in taste.  "Neil needs more spruce in his tip!"

Sweet in flavor and not much bitterness in flavor.  Trying to type this out before I go blind.  You never know with homebrew.  Tastes green... like it needs to ripen more (either by longer fermentation or longer aging).  Neil is definitely on the right track.

ABV:  Who knows?

RATING:  3 today... maybe 3.5 in 6 weeks

The Devil made us do it.

Jim Beam Devil's Cut

"A Bold New Bourbon with Flavor Unlocked from inside the Barrel Wood."

Uncle Jimmy tells us that the portion of liquid lost to evaporation during aging is the "Angel's Share".  Thank God the Angels are not forced to drink what is left in the barrel (regular Jim Beam).  Now the cheap bastards have taken a page from Mogen David in making Devil's Cut.  Mogen David used to be a regular/average wine maker until they came up with the brilliant idea of taking the leftover pressings and fortifying them.  MD 20/20 was born and bums across America rejoiced.  Maybe Devil's Cut will boost Jim Beam into bum territory.



So here we are AGAIN with Uncle Jimmy like a dysfunctional relationship that keeps surfacing (like herpes).  Jim Beam Devil's Cut is made from the whiskey left inside the wood of the barrel after it is emptied.  They claim they have a proprietary method of removing the whiskey which we believe is two drunk hillbillies stomping on the barrels with their bare feet.  The leftover barrel juice (called "extract") is aged and then blended with a 6 year old bourbon.

ABV: 45%

COLOR: Whiskey with a hue of hillbilly foot flesh
ODOR: Yes.. odor.  Dr. Scholls charcoal foot pad with a slight effervescence of vanilla

For this tasting, the tasters are starting off with straight shots.  That's right!  No mixer, no rocks and no sipping.

Not bad.  Much smoother finish than regular Jim Beam.  Apparently they are leaving the best part in the barrel and finally figured how to get it out.

Next... we tried it mixed with COCA-COLA.  The sweetness of the coke brings out the vanilla tones in the Devil's Cut.  Speaking of Devil's Cut... did Keanu Reeves make a deal with devil to star in "The Devil's Advocate"?  Seriously!  Keanu Reeves in a movie with Al Pacino and Charlize Theron!  He surely got a case of Devil Crabs with that deal (and a filthy sanchez).

"Not bad... but I'm half drunk!" - Lisa


RATING: 3.04

UTOPIAS!

Samuel Adams Utopias 2011

Quoted directly from Samuel Adams website:

"Sweet fire, with a rich malt and wood complexity.

Truly the epitome of brewing's two thousand year evolution, Samuel Adams Utopias® offers a flavor not just unlike any other beer but unlike any other beverage in the world. The 2009 release is a blend of batches, some having been aged up to 16 years in the barrel room of our Boston Brewery, in a variety of woods. We aged a portion of the beer in hand-selected, single-use bourbon casks from the award-winning Buffalo Trace Distillery. The latest batch also spent time in Portuguese muscatel finishing casks, as well as sherry, brandy and Cognac casks. This flavorful, slightly fruity brew has a sweet, malty flavor that is reminiscent of a deep, rich vintage port, fine cognac or aged sherry."

Most folks have never seen a bottle of Utopias let alone heard of it.  However, the tasters are knowledgable and have connections.  The bottled aquired by us was only the second to make it into our area.  It traveled 3100+ miles to get here. 

For this special tasting, we had to go off to an undisclosed location.  A few guest tasters new of the location and the password.  Since the tasting is over we can now let you know that the password was "Poodle".

The aroma of the utopias is definitely reminiscent of a fine sherry.  Almost a burnt smell to it, perhaps coming from the barrels it was aged in.  Color is a deep amber.  Taste is a sweet malty flavor.  Felt like we should have been on the veranda after a fine meal smoking a Tatuaje Verocu cigar and sipping this fine blend.

It is not for everyone.  Some people would rather smoke a swisher and guzzle jagermeister.  But what does it matter what we say?  Odds are you will never have the chance to taste this but, if you do, take it!  (Only 53 barrels were used in 2011). 

ABV: 27%

BOTTLE:  Kettle shaped ceramic hand crafted in Brazil

PRICE: $249.00+

RATING:  Complex

Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey

Like a little black rain cloud,  the tasters were in search of something sweet.  Luckily our little friend brought us by a bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey!*

"Here ya go Mister Tasters!  Hope ya like it!"

Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey is a honey liqueur blended with whiskey.  Now liqueurs are generally known as after dinner drinks that are sipped in small glasses.  The tasters decided it was an afternoon drink served in pints... (with ice). 

The aroma is sweet with a hint of spice.  The bottled reads "Enjoy Chilled" and that is how we tried it.  Sweet with no after taste burn that most whiskeys have.  Definitely honey taste without the heavy stickiness.  Smooth. 

We had several guest tasters and ideas of how to use this liqueur came from all directions.  A majority of the ideas had to do with incorporating the liqueur into desserts.  We suggest a bread pudding with a whiskey sauce.  (Bread pudding should use golden raisins).

ABV: 35%

RATING: 4.0

*No children or bees were harmed in this tasting.