The Devil made us do it.

Jim Beam Devil's Cut

"A Bold New Bourbon with Flavor Unlocked from inside the Barrel Wood."

Uncle Jimmy tells us that the portion of liquid lost to evaporation during aging is the "Angel's Share".  Thank God the Angels are not forced to drink what is left in the barrel (regular Jim Beam).  Now the cheap bastards have taken a page from Mogen David in making Devil's Cut.  Mogen David used to be a regular/average wine maker until they came up with the brilliant idea of taking the leftover pressings and fortifying them.  MD 20/20 was born and bums across America rejoiced.  Maybe Devil's Cut will boost Jim Beam into bum territory.



So here we are AGAIN with Uncle Jimmy like a dysfunctional relationship that keeps surfacing (like herpes).  Jim Beam Devil's Cut is made from the whiskey left inside the wood of the barrel after it is emptied.  They claim they have a proprietary method of removing the whiskey which we believe is two drunk hillbillies stomping on the barrels with their bare feet.  The leftover barrel juice (called "extract") is aged and then blended with a 6 year old bourbon.

ABV: 45%

COLOR: Whiskey with a hue of hillbilly foot flesh
ODOR: Yes.. odor.  Dr. Scholls charcoal foot pad with a slight effervescence of vanilla

For this tasting, the tasters are starting off with straight shots.  That's right!  No mixer, no rocks and no sipping.

Not bad.  Much smoother finish than regular Jim Beam.  Apparently they are leaving the best part in the barrel and finally figured how to get it out.

Next... we tried it mixed with COCA-COLA.  The sweetness of the coke brings out the vanilla tones in the Devil's Cut.  Speaking of Devil's Cut... did Keanu Reeves make a deal with devil to star in "The Devil's Advocate"?  Seriously!  Keanu Reeves in a movie with Al Pacino and Charlize Theron!  He surely got a case of Devil Crabs with that deal (and a filthy sanchez).

"Not bad... but I'm half drunk!" - Lisa


RATING: 3.04

UTOPIAS!

Samuel Adams Utopias 2011

Quoted directly from Samuel Adams website:

"Sweet fire, with a rich malt and wood complexity.

Truly the epitome of brewing's two thousand year evolution, Samuel Adams Utopias® offers a flavor not just unlike any other beer but unlike any other beverage in the world. The 2009 release is a blend of batches, some having been aged up to 16 years in the barrel room of our Boston Brewery, in a variety of woods. We aged a portion of the beer in hand-selected, single-use bourbon casks from the award-winning Buffalo Trace Distillery. The latest batch also spent time in Portuguese muscatel finishing casks, as well as sherry, brandy and Cognac casks. This flavorful, slightly fruity brew has a sweet, malty flavor that is reminiscent of a deep, rich vintage port, fine cognac or aged sherry."

Most folks have never seen a bottle of Utopias let alone heard of it.  However, the tasters are knowledgable and have connections.  The bottled aquired by us was only the second to make it into our area.  It traveled 3100+ miles to get here. 

For this special tasting, we had to go off to an undisclosed location.  A few guest tasters new of the location and the password.  Since the tasting is over we can now let you know that the password was "Poodle".

The aroma of the utopias is definitely reminiscent of a fine sherry.  Almost a burnt smell to it, perhaps coming from the barrels it was aged in.  Color is a deep amber.  Taste is a sweet malty flavor.  Felt like we should have been on the veranda after a fine meal smoking a Tatuaje Verocu cigar and sipping this fine blend.

It is not for everyone.  Some people would rather smoke a swisher and guzzle jagermeister.  But what does it matter what we say?  Odds are you will never have the chance to taste this but, if you do, take it!  (Only 53 barrels were used in 2011). 

ABV: 27%

BOTTLE:  Kettle shaped ceramic hand crafted in Brazil

PRICE: $249.00+

RATING:  Complex

Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey

Like a little black rain cloud,  the tasters were in search of something sweet.  Luckily our little friend brought us by a bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey!*

"Here ya go Mister Tasters!  Hope ya like it!"

Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey is a honey liqueur blended with whiskey.  Now liqueurs are generally known as after dinner drinks that are sipped in small glasses.  The tasters decided it was an afternoon drink served in pints... (with ice). 

The aroma is sweet with a hint of spice.  The bottled reads "Enjoy Chilled" and that is how we tried it.  Sweet with no after taste burn that most whiskeys have.  Definitely honey taste without the heavy stickiness.  Smooth. 

We had several guest tasters and ideas of how to use this liqueur came from all directions.  A majority of the ideas had to do with incorporating the liqueur into desserts.  We suggest a bread pudding with a whiskey sauce.  (Bread pudding should use golden raisins).

ABV: 35%

RATING: 4.0

*No children or bees were harmed in this tasting.

Trader Joe's 2010 Vintage Ale

"I am given a message to deliver to a general.  I ride and ride, but the general's headquarters seem to get farther and farther away.  Finally, a giant black panther leaps upon me and devours my mind and heart.  This puts a terrific crimp in my evening.  No matter how hard I try, I cannot catch the general, whom I see running in the distance in his shorts and whispering "nutmeg" to his enemies." - Woody Allen

A long opening for a beer that took a long ride to get to the tasters.  This bottled traveled up the west coast in the saddle bag of a Harley Davidson.

Nutmeg is the key word here.  Trader Joe's 2010 Vintage Ale is a dark ale brewed with spices and natural flavor.  Nutmeg is a definite flavor note keyed on by the tasters and our guest tasters.

This ale definitely gets style points for the cork.  It loses a few points for being a product of Canada and not being brewed at Elsinore Brewery.  Remember, lawyers are for sucks.

ABV: 9%
Color: Coffee
Aroma: Burnt Malt

Seems to be highly carbonated (this could be due to long ride it took) and starts of smooth.  It has a funky finish and this is where the tasters differ.  Guest tasters loved the funky finish in the style of George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic.  The regular Alaskan Tasters found the funky finish more in the style of Lionel Richie after he left the Commodores and started stalking blind women.  Sorry Trader Joe's, this is not the one we are looking for.

RATING: 2.5

Embrace Your Dark Side

Bridgeport Cafe Negro

Oregon's oldest craft brewery is mixing caffeine with beer. A dangerous thing to do... remember the original Four Loko?  Once they banned that shit the company turned the back stock into ethanol. NOT KIDDING!  ETHANOL!  Well the folks at Bridgeport are more concerned about flavor than getting you drunk and obviously have no concern if their beer is sold at 7-11. 

Cafe Negro is a coffee infused porter and one thing the Alaskan Tasters definitely know is coffee.  We drink coffee roasted by Steve at the Green Coffee Bean Company.  In fact, the tasters gave a bottle of Cafe Negro to Steve last week and have not seen him since.

Color: Espresso
Odor: Burnt Malt
ABV: 5.5%

Not a heavy porter.  Nice smooth flavor.  Coffee taste is there but is not over powering.  We think this would pair well with a nice vanilla bean ice cream.  Or perhaps try it instead of Guinness in an Irish Car Bomb.  Also would be a great breakfast beer.

We know... another Bridgeport beer and another good review.  Sorry but them tree hugging hippies know how to craft good beer.

RATING: 3.8

Malibu Caribbean Cosmo

The very first observation of the Malibu Caribbean Cosmo is that it needs a giant straw.  The packaging makes it look like a giant Capri Sun.  (Despite having a tap at the bottom of the bag)  In fact, we believe this product makes Capri Sun a transition vehicle to being an alcoholic.  DRINK UP KIDDIES!



Malibu Rum makes three flavors of their ready to serve cocktails.  Rum Punch, Mojito and Caribbean Cosmo.  The cosmo is "a blend of Malibu Coconut, Lime, Orange and Cranberry.  The 1.75 liter bag claims there is ten six ounce cocktails in it.  We think it holds just one.  

ABV: 15%

COLOR:  PINK

AROMA: Tropicana Suntan Lotion

Definitely sweet and fruity.  Something I expect a Sassy Gay Friend to drink.  Almost too sweet so we definitely suggest drinking it on ice.  "I can tell right now Lisa is going to get drunk off her ass on this stuff!"  That about says it all.  Buy this one for your date (especially if they are female or gay).

We suggest  throwing it in a blender with ice to make a cosmo smoothie and topping it with a rum floater..  It would pair nicely with some Jamaican Jerk Chicken or any spicy food.

OUR RATING: 3.0

YOUR DRUNK DATE'S RATING: 4.OH!

 

Hecho en Mexico

BOHEMIA CLASICA

Bohemia Clasica is a lager made imported by Cervezas Mexicanas.  Cerveza Mexicanas is located in White Plains, New York... which is about 2800 miles from the Mexican border.  So if you visit the importers it is highly unlikely that a group of Mexicans are standing on the corner waiting for a guy in a pick up to drive up* and hold up four fingers.  Bohemia is brewed in Monterrey, Mexico.

Bohemia is a nice golden color and comes in a bottle that is wrapped with gold foil.  In fact, there is more gold on a bottle of Bohemia than the Hoffmans found at Porcupine Creek.  Bohemia is, perhaps, the type of beer Dakota Fred drinks while vacationing in Mexico after succesfully mining for gold (which would mean mining without the Hoffmans).  In tasting the lager, it seems only natural that is made for warmer weather.  Bohemia suggests that it is "terrific as a counterpoint to food."  We suggest that it is a terrific as a counterpoint to another Bohemia.

ABV: 5.3%

RATING: 3.35

*The Alaskan Tasters in no way condone racism... just humor.