Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah

"Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting
Those kicks were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing"

KUNG FU GIRL

Riesling by Charles Smith Wines

"There was funky China men from funky Chinatown
They were trapping them up
They were trapping them down
It's an ancient Chinese art
And everybody knew their part
From a fainting, to a slip
And a kickin' from the hip
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Those kids were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning
But they fought with expert timing"

After chugging (or Chun King) a bottle of Kung Fu Girl, your expert timing might be a little off. The next thing you know  a roundhouse kick coming at you from Little Sammy Chong.

Kung Fu Girl is a riesling from Charles Smith Wines. Vinted and bottled in Mattawa, Washingon (which is in the Columbia Valley).  Riesling grapes are used to make dry, semi-sweet and sparkling wines.  Our little Kung Fu gal is a semi-sweet riesling.  Not too sweet with a little bitterness... like that Asian Stan dated.  (Kung Fu Girl will not set you back as far as the one Stan dated... around $14.99)

ABV: 12.5%
COLOR:  Clear
ODOR: Fermented Grape

"There was funky Billie Jim and little Sammy Chong
He said, here comes the big boss, let's get it on
We took the bow and made a stand
Started swaying with the hand
A sudden motion made me skip
Now we're into a brand new trip"

Carl Douglas would like this wine and so should you.

RATING:  3.76

 

RED STAG

NOW THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE!

YES!  After two months of no posts, we are back... and we are back with ANOTHER review of a Jim Beam product.  It is like we are co-dependent.  The last beating was not enough so we are back for more. It is like we are having a dysfunctional relationship with ourselves.  As soon as we break it off with Jim, we are with Jack, Johnnie, Glen or Old Grandad but somewhere, deep down, we are still thinkingof Jim even though he leaves a bitter taster in our mouth.

Red Stag (by Jim Beam) is a 4 year old bourbon infused with "natural" flavors.  The "natural" flavor is prunus serotina (aka Black Cherry).  Black cherries are found predominantly in the eastern United States and central Mexico.  Yet you don't hear of mexicans sticking black cherries in their tequila. 

A 1 oz shot has 69 calories and no nutritional value.  Take a moment quietly chuckle to yourself.

ABV: 80 Proof

Odor:  Slight cough syrup odor.

Taste:  After a straight shot of 69 calories, we are feelling a bit burly and are obliged to try more.  Very sweet, like syrup.  We do not recommend for straight sipping or taking shots.  Next we will try it mixed with COCA COLA.  Still sweet and tastes like cherry coke cough medicine.  You know, if cough medicine tasted like this... it would be awesome.  Unfortunately it is not cough syrup and that sucks for Jim Beam. 

RATING: 1.8

Our relationship has ended... again.